Aftermath: Nico di Angelo
by TheFangirlAsdfghjkl
Summary: Aftermath of war? No, aftermath of what Nico went through after the war was over and everyone was happy. The aftermath of his problems he tried to contain but couldn't. The aftermath of his stupid feelings. Percico/Pernico/Perico, one-sided Solangelo [Will's]. Don't worry about BoO spoilers. I take suggestions and criticism. Please read and review :) T for angst and cussing.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hullo there! This is gonna be a Nico POV, multi chaptered, booty kicking story of Nico after the War and his feelings and *wink* friends *wink* and stuff sounds cool right? (I hope). It will contain minor BoO spoilers that I will totally not throw light on so you may as well assume I made stuff up so you won't technically be spoiled 'cause some stuff **_**is**_** made up. I don't know whether to do Solangelo or Percico. You can tell me in the reviews or PM me and I'll chose the most popular and requested. (I'm more for Percico, don't murder me, it was my OTP for 3 years even though Nico confessed last year). **

**Also, for the people who've read BoO and think that it isn't accurate judging from the book then **_**I made it up.**_** Bear with me. Also, Nico hasn't confessed yet to Percy or anybody. Just Jason (for the people living under a boulder and not reading HoH). Reyna and Nico is my Brotp so you'll see some of that here too :3 Also, I write another story with Nico and an OC (Mavis Grey, if you were curious) and it'll be cool if you checked that out. It'll have minor Percico, could be sad. Maybe. Obviously. That's angst-y too 'cause I have a thing for angst.**

**So um… here it is! I guess….**

**Look how long this note is….*I need to go* Buh bye!**

Whoever renovated the Hades cabin during the time I was gone probably thinks we're vampires.

I mean, the bed was in the shape of a coffin and was made of completely black wood and crimson, blood red velvet sheets. The two windows that were in the cabin had long black curtains covering up any ray of sunlight that may ever dare to enter. The walls were black, the closet was black even the floor was black._ Everything was black._

At least the pillows were fluffy and the bed was comfortable.

Now I was sitting on my bed and staring blankly across the room. I rarely stepped out of my cabin. Why should I really? I had lost my usefulness, as one may say.

But was I ever hungry. If I don't step out, that meant no dining pavilion. And no dining pavilion meant no food. Hence, I hadn't eaten in… what, three days? If I didn't eat in a few hours, I would be too weak to walk out of my cabin.

I hadn't slept a wink since a few days either. My mind would get crowded with thoughts that I'd spent a lot of time to forget.

That didn't work apparently.

The War was over. Leo had come back from his supposedly inevitable death, bringing back the un-bring-back-able, Calypso. Jason had decided to stay at Camp Half-Blood with Piper for most of the time but he went back to New Rome a lot too. Percy and Annabeth were planning to go to college next year after they are sure that camp was okay. Annabeth studying for her architectural course and Percy for marine biology. Hazel and Frank will be at Camp Jupiter guiding the Cohorts and New Rome in general along with Reyna. The Camp had more or less recovered from the attack of Romans (*cough* Octavian *cough*).

The Romans helped with construction and Chiron helped them with more supervised training. The campers had recovered and were finally welcoming the dawn of another happy interval of time. Everyone was happy.

Well everyone, except me.

I was welcome to both camps, of course.

Supposedly.

Reyna had almost convinced me that this – this war – would change everyone's view over me. Almost.

Well at first they did.

It was all: "Oh my gods, Nico di Angelo is a total hero, he brought the Athena Parthenos with the Roman just in time with his shadow-jumps and a totally RAD army of two Cohorts. Plus he's totally hot. Wait….he's a son of...who? Hades? I don't really care."

Now, they give me looks like: _Why are you still here? Why aren't you back doing Underworld-y stuff?_

Yes I had decided to stay at camp. Now, I wasn't so sure it was the best decision.

Percy would be here for approximately a year with Annabeth before they go to college. I'm trying to get over him. I'm trying so, so hard.

I resented Percy Jackson so much. Yet I would do anything for him; I hated myself for that.

But love – ahem – _crushes_ are hard to get over.

And in the case of Percy Jackson, it was like a hundred times harder. But I'm trying.

Hopefully, Percy will leave me alone in the time I'm here. If I decide to stay longer, that is. But I really hope he'll just leave me alone.

_Yeah like that'll happen_. A voice in my head said.

Contrary to popular belief, I did have a heart. And it hurt right now. It hurt a lot.

I sighed and stood up. My head spin like a teacup ride. I leaned on the wall for support. I needed to eat. _Now._

I blinked the spots out of my eyes and walked to the door. The world wouldn't stop spinning so I fished a square of emergency ambrosia from a little rectangular hole that had a sliding panel that was hidden by the crimson door mat.

I nearly fell over when I bent down to get some ambrosia out. I finally popped a little in my mouth and swallowed. I couldn't have as much as I wished because I didn't think that my body could handle the godly food without anything else in my stomach.

The ambrosia helped me feel better alright, but I still had a head ache and my stomach acids churned as if they may devour my insides.

I walked out and the sun rays hit my face. I grunted in disapproval. Maybe I was vampire. I certainly wasn't a morning person.

Breakfast would've ended by now but I could get _something_ at least.

I walked at the dining pavilion and as expected, it was empty. I saw some grapes and plucked one off and chewed it reluctantly. My stomach churned violently to the sudden fullness it was experiencing. I wanted to spit everything out and vomit; but only bile and blood would come up. I forced the food down my throat and had some more.

After the excruciating pain of shoving food down my throat, my stomach started getting more accustomed to the food. So I ate a sandwich too.

Just when I thought this was enough, I almost got electrocuted.

How, you may ask?

Jason fucking Grace.

So this guy decides: _Nico is probably already having a really crap day. Let's make it suck more!_

"Whoa," Jason landed next to me, smiling apologetically "Didn't see ya there."

"Screw off." I grunted and walked past him.

"Hey!" he followed "Don't be so mean."

"Oh I was just about to get electrocuted and become an o'dourve for the harpies, why would I possibly act mean?" He mumbled a sorry and walked behind me.

"Why are you following me?" I stopped, face him and tried not to yell.

"Look Nico, I just thought that we could talk–" He began.

"No!" I knew _exactly_ what he wanted to talk about. It was hard enough for me to decide and try to move on anyway, I did not need a Jason sticking up to me about it and telling me it was okay. Because it wasn't, it just wasn't. You can comfort me and you can try to heal my wounds but even you'll know deep down that it just wasn't _'okay'._

"I don't want to talk about it." I whispered dangerously low.

"Nico, look I just–" That's when I shadow travelled the hell out of there. One thought in mind: _The woods. _

I just can't talk to Jason. I just _can't._

Out of all people,_ Jason_ was the last person to understand what I felt. He was everyone's _golden_ boy. He had a perfect girlfriend, a perfect best friend, a perfect life, just a pathetic perfect everything. He never knew what it was like to be excluded from the place that you supposedly had to fit in. He was a son ofJupiter_._ _Jupiter_. How would he understand? He would just pretend and tell me it's okay or whatever. It wasn't fucking _okay. _Did I mention that?

So I shadow travelled away.

_You run away again then, just as you always have._ A voice in my mind pestered.

_Shut up,_ I told it.

The woods were full of monsters but I had a feeling they wouldn't mind me. I wasn't the ideal one to mess with now and I knew they probably realised that.

My plan was to hide in the woods for some time. It wasn't like anyone would care anyway. So I did hide in the woods all by myself. Wandering aimlessly.

I would never say this or admit this out loud but I was afraid that the darkness I took shelter in, the shadows I took refuge in; I may melt into them. I would lose my identity, the solidity and my sanity, or what was left of it.

I always slip into the shadows but the shadow realm wasn't my domain, it belonged to Erebos. Sure it was a part of Hades' domain but it was the same with death. Thanatos was death, Erebos was the god of darkness. They just came under Hades' domain too.

I melt into the shadows so much that I don't realise it takes away a part of me. It was so bad that if I didn't pay any attention or didn't think about it, my hands would pass through objects, I would absentmindedly walk through a tree.

It scared me and I don't scare easy; I had been through hell itself.

I always knew the importance of one's voice. If you didn't use it; you're half-way to Asphodel.

_That applies to you to._ The voice said again.

Now that voice was pissing me off.

Still I knew it was true.

But come on, if you lose your only family at the age of ten, wander through the Labyrinth with a psychotic ghost, fall in love with whom you aren't supposed to,fall in Tartarus, are given false hope of happiness _and_ are losing everything you stand for; there isn't much hope of recovery.

I just hoped. I just held one string that tied me to my sanity with something as frail as hope.

I know it's useless. Oh do I know, but I just can't help but hope. That maybe, just maybe, I may be accepted. Maybe a person may finally come into my life. And maybe, that person would be Percy Jackson.

**Sorry short-ish chapter but unless you tell me Percico or Solangelo I can't do much. If no one tells me I'll assume it to be Percico. Stay tuned!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Hullo non-existent readers! Love to see that you guys actually love my stuff. **_**Actually.**_** Anyway, Solangelo it is! I'll have some Percico on the way 'cause it'll be too fast paced and weird to like suddenly have Will and Nico together. But Solangelo is on the way, so both shippers will be happy! But it'll come nice, sweet, slow and a little heart breaking. Little. Right. :)**

**Remember I **_**am**_** still writing that OC story :) *shamelessly self-promotes* **

**So um… another chapter it is! I think… Buh bye and stay tuned!**

**[Edited: I've changed it into Percico, I'm sorry]**

My hope of Percy leaving me alone held up? Right.

After I got back to my cabin, my plan was to stay there for some time and think whether I wanted to stay at camp or not. And the Fates go like: _Like shit that'll happen!_

After about half an hour, I heard a knock at my door. It was 8:00pm, I'd reckon. Now, who _the hell_ was at _my cabin_, this late?

I just ignored it assuming whoever it was would realise they were at the wrong place or just think I wasn't in the cabin.

I heard another hard knock. I assumed it was Jason.

"I know you're in there, di Angelo!" A voice yelled. It wasn't Jason after all, it was Will Solace.

Will Solace. Why would he want to see me? I mean, I still didn't know what to think of the guy. He was skilled and liable. He was a good healer and could make a mean grilled cheese and avocado sandwich.

Or so I've heard.

"Go away Will." I called back.

"Open the stupid door!" He banged the door harder "Or I swear to Zeus I'll break it down."

"You know you can't do that." I reasoned.

"Just open the door!" He yelled louder, his deep voice resonating through the cabin "I don't mind being here all night!"

I knew he couldn't break the door but I was certain he wouldn't mind staying here all night. So I reluctantly got up and opened the door. Will looked annoyed; his blue eyes fixed on me, his blonde hair turning silver in the moonlight.

"Why do I owe this pleasure?" I sighed and rolled my eyes, my voice filled with mocked enthusiasm.

"Where were you today?" He put on hand on his hip in a disapproving manner.

"And why does that concern you?" I said, unimpressed.

"Nico, you haven't gotten out of your cabin for three days, I bet you haven't even eaten in three days. Really Nico, why do you torture yourself like this?" He said. I was surprised he noticed but in a flash I regained my composure.

"I believe you are held in error. I most certainly have gotten out of my cabin _and _eaten." I scowled slightly. Just enough to make my point.

"It isn't enough." He said again "You're fourteen Nico, and you look sixteen. You need to eat and sleep to save your childhood. Or what's left of it."

"Do you even hear yourself?" I said "My childhood? I'm a child of _Hades_. My childhood died when I discovered who I was. I don't even think I should be here. Actually, you know what? I'm leaving. I've changed my mind. I'm leaving both camps – forever."

"Why would you say that?" he looked hurt. I really didn't understand why.

"Will, go back and heal some people." I sighed "Leave me be. I will be leaving soon."

"Nico no." He rather sounded desperate "Look, the Underworld stuff is killing you. Literally. You're so skinny and your eyes look so dead. If the eyes are the windows to the soul; you have no soul."

"Oh gee," I say "Doesn't that make me feel better."

"I mean it Nico." He searched my face as if I were to disappear "Just stay here."

"I am staying here." I reasoned "In my cabin."

"What is there in you cabin that you never leave?" He tried to peek in. I blocked his view but shifting on my feet.

"I don't understand why you care." I slammed the door only to realise Will's foot was in the way. But the door was already in motion and I ended up whacking his foot with the door really hard.

"Ow!" He collapsed and grabbed his foot, pain flickered in his eyes. I won't lie, I did get concerned and knelt next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh my gods, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to!" I searched for his eyes under his long messy hair.

He went stiff and looked at me, grinning. "I don't understand why you care, di Angelo."

"Asshole!" I jerked up and turned towards my cabin. Will placed a firm hand on my shoulder and turned me to face him.

"You don't need to be like that." He said, he tried to keep his composure but I had actually hurt his foot, hard.

"I just don't want to go out and face everybody." I couldn't keep the misery from creeping in my voice. But it was true. I didn't want to see _anybody._

"Look Nico," He let the concern show in his eyes "I know that you don't like being around a lot of people but you need to go out. It'll help you feel better. You need to eat regularly. I'm a healer. Camp's_ head _healer. So you need to listen to me. Dinner starts in some time, you need to come and eat. I'm not taking a no for an answer. Doctor's orders."

"Gods you're annoying." I rolled my eyes, grunting "Fine, I'll go. But just this once."

"Thanks! I'll be with you so no need to worry. We'll be together."

He grinned and threw his arm around my shoulders. I glared at him and his hand fell, his eyes showing heaps of discomfort. He turned towards the dining pavilion. I followed him.

When we got there, everyone fell silent. They all looked at me and murmured among themselves. Yeah, this was a great idea, I feel all warm and fuzzy.

Then a girl ran up to us and threw her arms around Will. Chloe Solace. She was about three years younger than him and has the same blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Oh my gods Will. Did you know we had sword fighting today." she started yapping "There was this Ares camper who was big rude and mean and he…"

She dragged him away, talking non-stop. Will gave me a reassuring smile but showed no intention of getting back to me. So much for being together.

The room started buzzing again and I looked around frantically, not really sure why. Then my eye caught on Percy. Sitting alone on the Poseidon table and eating a big cheeseburger. He sat alone but he didn't look like me. He didn't look alone. He looked so full. His sea-green eyes sparkled and his dark hair were messy. My heart fluttered inside my chest. I resisted the urge to go up to him and run my fingers through his hair to straighten it.

I stared a second too long and averted my gaze. I looked down and glared at my chest, as if that'd shut my heart up.

I got a plate of pasta. I didn't have much of an appetite but if I had come out of my cabin, I'd better eat. It'd look weird if I just wandered off.

I sacrificed half my food to Hades as an offering and went back to the Hades table. It was empty and I was alone. But not how Percy was. I was truly alone.

I managed to finish my food half-heartedly and got up to go back to my cabin where I planned to camp for a long, long while. But suddenly a hand wrapped itself around me and I went stiff.

I looked up to see the sea-green eyes fixed on me. I held down a shriek building in my throat and glared at Percy.

He took his hand back and looked uneasy.

_Of course he feels uneasy, genius. A creepy loner just intensely glared at him! _The voice said again.

"Hey Nico!" He grinned, any earlier sign of discomfort vanished "I haven't seen you in a while! Where have you been? Were you with Hazel?"

"Yeah, something like that." I mumbled, my eyes fixed on my shoes.

"But I thought you were at camp," he smiled again "You are never here! I thought you planned to stay at camp now."

"I did Percy. Don't make me change my mind now." I glared. He gave me a look of discomfort and I quickly added "I mean, yeah I'm here."

"So I actually wanted to talk to you about something," He sounded nervous. My first thought? _Oh god, he knows. WhatdoIdonow? Thisisnothowitissupposedtobelike!_

"W-What?" I managed.

"Oh…um…Chiron told me to tell you…that you'll have to…." He swallowed, his next words came out quick "Teach sword fighting to the new kids."

"So?" I said. So _this _was it, stupid Seaweed Brain, getting me all worked up.

"With me." He sighed.

"_What?"_ I hissed, my voice dripping with venom. Percy took an uneasy step back, his beautiful eyes startled and filled with fear.

"I-I told Chiron-" he stammered "I told him! It wouldn't…that you wouldn't…I mean…"

He sighed in exasperation. I felt like punching something. Preferably his beautiful face, with beautiful cheekbones, tanned skin, a perfect jaw and his lips, oh gods his lips– _ahem. _

_I just wanted to be left alone, Aphrodite._ I looked up at the sky.

"I'm not going to teach them," I scowled "With_ you._"

I said 'you' with so much disgust and loathing that Percy looked so sad and disappointed. It hurt to look at him like that.

"I'm sorry Nico," he looked down "I'll go talk to Chiron. It's my fault, I mean–"

"Really Percy, how is it _your_ fault?" I said, unimpressed.

"I-I actually went and…." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously "Asked Chiron to put you on duties with me so–"

"You asked Chiron to put _you_ with _me_?" My eyes widened.

"Yeah I mean," He sighed and looked at me "I thought I could patch it up to you, you know? 'Cause you seem hate me so much, I thought it was a good way–"

"I don't hate you Percy." I said, looking directly at him.

"But then why do you always keep pushing me away?" He looked at me straight in my eyes with a kind of determination. "Whenever you look at me, you glare or scowl. Look, if this is about Bianca–"

"It isn't about her Percy," I inwardly cringed at her name that I managed not to show "I don't blame you for what happened. Neither should you."

"Then why do you act like this Nico?" He asked again "Why do always do this to me if you don't hate me?"

_Because I love you, you idiot._

He eyes gave me a sort of pleading look. I realised that even though I didn't blame him for Bianca's death anymore, he still blamed himself. And I was just making it worse for him.

"I don't hate you." I said, trying to keep my voice even

"To prove that," _I'm gonna regret this_ "We'll train the new kids together. Okay?"

"Okay." He relaxed and gave me a winning smile that lit up my world. That I never wanted to lose. Even though it lasted for a few seconds, I'd cherished every bit of it. I wouldn't want to lose even a bit of it. The same way I didn't want to lose Percy. But he wasn't mine to lose.

**There! I know it's not as big as everyone would want but it'll get better, I swear. Please review **


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Yes I know I haven't posted in a while. But let us begin my lovelies! So… new chapter, some Percico, some Solangelo. You know, the usual. But it will be better than the previous ones and longer too.**

**Also, (*cue shameless self-promoting*) don't forget my OC story (Children of Hell) and yes, it has Nico. No he isn't the love interest of my OC, so go check it out 'cause is amazing! **

**So here it is, my non-existent readers! (I felt weird not saying that)**

I cannot tell you how much I hate children. Little sacks of blood getting on my nerves. I don't know how Percy managed to train them. But truthfully I would rather breaststroke through a volcano buck-naked than teach these children how to hold a sword.

When I first arrived Percy was there and he was showing off this trademark grin. He was teaching some kid how to disarm someone. It was literally the most basic move I could imagine. But I guess it worked with little kids.

I came in and everyone fell silent. Even Percy felt unsure for a second. Some little kid sniffled as if he were on the verge of tears and hugged the one next to him; hiding his face. I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. Just when I was about to leave Percy decided to clap his hands together in one loud sharp sound and get everyone's attention.

"So! This is Nico di Angelo" he smiled and any uneasiness he showed earlier was gone "And he will train you with me. He's a really powerful demigod so don't challenge him! Or he might eat you alive!"

What do people call it these days? I know what, _facepalm._

The kid who sniffled? Bursts in tears. A toddler runs away screaming. I look at Percy like: _Dude really? LIKE WHAT IN ZEUS' NAME WERE YOU EVEN THINKING?_

And he returns it with an uneasy shrug.

I sigh and facepalm.

"H-Hey, I was just kidding!" Percy spread his arms. "Mr. di Angelo here won't hurt fly. Only monsters!"

I sighed. "Let's just get this over with." I reached for my sword but a little girl tugged my jacket. I looked down at her. She had big blue eyes and salt and pepper hair, she looked no more than five years old.

"Mr. di Angelo?" She said in soft voice. She looked so innocent and reminded me of myself when I was a child. Normally I wouldn't snapped at anyone who tugged my jacket – little kid or not – but I just didn't have the heart to do that to this girl. (Yes, yes, I, Nico di Angelo, have a heart. Go ahead and laugh, you filthy bastards.)

"Call me Nico." I smiled and knelt so we were eye to eye.

"You dropped this." She said and handed me a small object and her gaze didn't leave the ground. It was the Hades figurine Bianca had given Percy to give me.

"Where'd you find this?"

"You were walking in and you dropped it." She said again and looked at her feet nervously as if I would do something horrible to her.

"Thank you so much….?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Emily." She looked up again.

"Well thank you so much Emily." I smiled gently again and ruffled her hair slightly.

She gave me a horror-struck look and was clearly taken aback that I had shown any gesture of affection towards her. I snatched my hand back.

Gods was I an idiot.

Just because I smiled at this girl a bit didn't mean I'd be any less of a creep.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled and started to get up. She pulled me down again and looked at me directly in my eyes.

"Nico," She said "Everyone is scared of you, but I'm not. My sister always told me that people who are alone and scary, hide pain and it is our duty to make them feel loved."

"Isn't your sister smart?" I said and smiled. This little girl already understood me better than most people at camp. I was so glad she wasn't freaked out by me but I was also kind of shocked. Maybe toddlers aren't so bad after all.

"After my archery lesson, will you teach me sword fighting?" She looked at me innocently with those big blue eyes again.

"I don't see why not." I smiled.

"Thank you Nico! You're the best!" She kissed my cheek and ran away. I touched my cheek and smiled, getting up.

"Somebody alert the media," Someone said behind me. Percy. "Nico di Angelo smiled! Not once, not twice, not thrice, but _five times!"_

"Shut up, Jackson." I grunted.

"That girl really has skill," he said "SHE MADE YOU SMILE FIVE TIMES!"

"Shut up and stop fangirling." I grunted.

"Geez Nico," He laughed uneasily "She can get you so happy and I can't even make you _half-smile."_

I just rolled my eyes and gestured him to help me teach some kids.

All kids were beginners. Pretty pathetic if you ask me, but still _way_ better than a mortal. They practised on dummies; they slashed and jabbed. Then they fought each other; exchanging strikes and parries.

Percy was teaching some smaller kids as they refused to get near me within 500 meter radius. He was laughing and smiling and encouraging the children with such ease and confidence, it made me admire him. He was so strong and his presence was reassuring–

_Whoa di Angelo, wrong train of thought there._

"Hey you!" A female voice called "Nico di Angelo?"

I turned and found a tall 15 year old girl running towards me. She had black hair and blue eyes that looked familiar. She wore dark blue jeans, a Camp Half-Blood t-shirt and a black leather jacket that made an interesting fashion statement.

Not that I know anything about fashion.

"Excuse me?" I scowled. Either this girl was either incredibly brave or had a death wish.

"I heard you were giving sword fighting training, eh?" She cocked an eyebrow, she had a British accent.

"Sure sunshine," I mocked "Go right over there to the one and only Percy Jackson and then darling you'll finally learn how to hold a sword."

"Oh don't sass me, Death Boy." She placed a hand on her hip.

"Do _not_ call me _Death Boy._" I glared intensely.

"Oh jeez," she got a bit uneasy. Well, totally her fault. "Anyway, practise with me."

She said and drew a celestial bronze sword that hung on her belt.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I raised my hands in amusement. This girl did really have a death wish. "You want to fight me?"

"Yeah," she said "Why is that so surprising?"

"Sorry sunshine," I laughed a humourless laugh "I don't fight newbies."

"What? You're scared?" She said as she leaned a bit too close to me.

"Sorry that's not working on me." I said as I turned to walk away. I heard a familiar swish that I'd heard enough during battles for it to be permanently resonating through my ears and travelling to my brain to trigger memories I tried to forget.

In a heartbeat, I drew my sword and raised it in defence. This girl had attacked. One does _not_ simply get away with that.

I pushed my sword towards her and she fell on her butt.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I growled. She got up and attacked again.

"I just wanted to have some fun, Death Boy!" She said as I blocked.

"That's it. You're on." I swung and jabbed and tried to go easy on her. But gods dammit was I pissed.

She blocked sloppily as she was still recovering from falling down. I swung and jabbed and rolled whenever she attempted to decapitate me.

I decided to mess around a bit and gave her a little cut on her arm that managed to cut the fabric of her jacket and draw little blood.

"Hey!" She winced "It's against the rules!"

"Oops." I smiled evilly "Totally unintentional. For your information, you were the one who waltzed to me for a sword fighting session. Now bear with me, sunshine!" I swung once more and she blocked sloppily.

This continued for a while and I finally decided to end her misery. I disarmed her and slammed the hilt of my sword on her chest and she fell down once more.

She clutched her arm even though the little blood that had escaped and dried up. She was panting and I hadn't even broken a bead of sweat.

"You see," I said as I sheath my sword "You can't just take me down in sword fighting. Go and learn to hold a sword, then come back."

She grumbled and got up to get her sword and walked away. I looked around the arena and saw that all eyes were strained on me. There were children with awestruck looks and dropped jaws staring at me. And so was Percy.

Oh shit.

They couldn't have possibly seen the slash on the arm, right?

Just when I thought someone might run away to complain to Chiron, Percy broke out clapping.

"Now that was a very good demonstration by Nico!" He said and the rest of the kids followed his lead and clapped.

I felt a little guilty for hurting the newbie even though she kind of deserved it.

Then Emily ran up to me again.

"Nico!" She yelled and her sight put a smile on my face.

"Will you sword fight with me now?" She said, bubbling with enthusiasm.

When I was about to reply, the same newbie I fought with pulled Emily back, "Get back Emily, he doesn't fight newbies."

Wait, now she's mocking me?

"But Emma–" Emily protested.

"Emily, no!" The newbie – I mean _Emma_ said.

"Hey, back off" I said "Who gives you the right over Emily?"

"I'm her sister so I do have every right to protect her from people like you." She shot back.

"Wait, _you're_ Emily's sister?" I said.

"Yes, and why does that surprise you?" She said.

"Emma, please–" Emily tried to protest again.

"Emily no!" Emma shouted.

"So your name is Emma," I said as I tried to ignore Emily and keep her out of this – whatever 'this' was. "And her name is Emily, is that a sibling thing or something."

"So what if it is?" Emma grumbled "You and Bianca probably didn't have one."

"How'd you–?"

"It's a small camp, dipshit and–"

"_How dare you speak of her?"_ I hissed, my voice dripping with venom. I started reading her soul and history like a book.

"Sorry I–" She began.

"_Emma Meredith Johnson, hasn't your mother taught you anything?"_ I hissed with anger and hatred "_Oh wait, how could she? She didn't even like you. And when you had hope, she died."_

"How did you–?"

"How old were you then? Twelve." I growled and I stepped towards her."Emily was six and you ran away! You left her, to her abusive mother! She would endure the pain and cry for you! Emily would cry for you Emma, where were you then? You–"

Emily started crying and yanked me back into my own self. Emma looked at me in horror and staggered back. She held Emily in here arms as Emily sobbed.

"Emily, I'm so sorry. I–" I began.

"Get away from him, Emily." Emma said as she pulled a crying Emily back. She looked mortified, as if I had physically opened every healing wound and rubbed salt in it and set it on fire – which I probably had.

"Emma listen–"

"Get away from him!" She yelled again and ran out, pulling her sister behind her.

I wanted to follow but instead I decided to let them go. I was the last person they wanted to see. One girl – one little girl who wasn't scared of me and what do I do? Give her a reason to be scared.

What I had done was simply unacceptable.

"Percy," I walk up to him "I have to go."

"What? Why?" He looks up to me.

"I'm pretty sure you can handle stuff here."

"Nico listen–"

"I need to go." I take a last look at his face and shadow travel into my cabin.

I sit down on my unmade bed and fall back on the mattress.

I hadn't looked into anyone's soul like that in a while.

Usually, when someone close to you dies, I can connect their life with yours and extract information. In other words, I can read your life story like a novel.

I am so stupid. Sometimes I think that I'd be better off in my domain. Permanently.

It's not that the world's better off with me or bullshit, I don't care what happens to this lousy world; it's just that maybe I'd be happier. I don't know, I could choose rebirth. Maybe Hades would have a good job for me.

I know what it's like to have a miserable past and I respect everyone's because I know that it makes them who they are. I never exploit it; I never read it even if I had the power.

Yet that is exactly what I did today.

Maybe it would be better if I just die.

It's not like anyone would miss me. Hazel would be sad of course but that'd end there. Besides, she has Frank. I would be out of her life in a heartbeat.

Getting second chances in life is easy; the trick is to make it better. And I hadn't done that. So maybe I could just let go.

How ironic it would be to stand in front of Minos for my judgement.

While I dwelled in self-pity I heard a knock on the door.

"Go away!" I yelled.

"Nico open the door!" Will shouted. Why is it always Will, really?

"Not this time!" I called out.

"You'll have to come out some time!"

"I don't actually," I reasoned "I could shadow travel where ever whenever."

Silence.

"Nico, I need to talk to you." He pleaded "Please."

"What is it?" I asked. His pleas sounded desperate.

"It's about Emily and Emma." And that was enough for me to jump up and yank the door open with such pressure that it almost came out of its hinges.

"What?" I asked again.

"You're really a horrible person, you know that right? I didn't think that–" He looked angry.

"Look," I sighed knowingly "I know I messed up."

"Messed up? Emily's still crying!" He yelled.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"Excuse me?" He looked at me in disbelief "Did you just say sorry? Did Nico di Angelo just say sorry?"

"Don't be a bitch about it, okay?" I looked at my feet.

"Look," he began "I don't know what happened, but Emma is really upset. I've never seen Emma upset about anything. Heck, I haven't even seen her show any kind of discomfort."

"How do you know Emma?" I quirked. Thank you so much ADHD.

"She's my half-sister," He sighed as if it were obvious "Child of Apollo. Weren't you there when she was claimed?"

"Um…" I did have a faint memory.

"You need to make Emily stop crying and say sorry. Personally." He said finally.

"I don't think I can, Will. I'm not really the consoling-the-heartbroken type, in case you haven't noticed. Besides, you're the Head Counsellor, you must deal with this kinda shit all the time. So it wouldn't be a problem for you."

"You insensitive asshole. How could you say that? I didn't know you were this bad of a person–" He looked at me.

"Well, what'd you know?" I snapped.

"Nico, you miserable, horrible, insensitive–" He looked at me with anger and rage I'd never seen him with.

"I know that okay! So stop reminding me! I am miserable! And horrible! So just shut up and stay out of my life!"

I slam the door shut and regret it instantly.

I lean on the closed door and slowly slump down. This day couldn't get any worse.

I hear a knock.

I jump up and twist the door handle with anger. If it were Will again, I swear to Zeus I would throw him in the Fields of Punish–

"Hey." Jason said and my anger nullified.

"What are you doing here, Grace?" I glared.

"I know you've been avoiding this conversation for a long time now but–"

"There is nothing to converse about." I stated.

"Nico," he said "Stop avoiding me and acting like this isn't real. Because it is. It's all real. Your problems are real."

"They damn right are." I grunted.

"Just let me make sure you're okay." He sighed.

"I am okay." I said.

"Please let me talk to you." He said again. It seemed that I wasn't easily going to get out of this, so I sighed in defeat and let him in.

"You got to let some light in dude." He squinted as his eyes adjusted to the darkness.

"Don't press your luck, Grace." I growl.

"Nico," he said seriously "Look I know you've had a terrible life–"

"No shit." I mumble.

"–And there is no way I'll ever understand what you've been through and what you're going through–"

"I know." I mumble.

"–But one thing I'm sure of is that you need to confess to Percy."

I burst into a humourless laughter.

"Me confessing to Percy?" I laughed "Are you losing your wits?"

"I'm serious Nico." he said "The guy thinks you hate him! I'm sure if he knew the truth it'd be–"

"It would be what? Less awkward? Less uncomfortable?" I said "Do you even hear yourself? Jason, this is going to get us all killed, me in particular."

"I mean good." He murmured.

"That touches my heart." I said flatly.

"Nico, no need to be like that." He sighs "Just go talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Tell him about your love towards him that you've felt for him all these years. I know he's with Annabeth and it hurts you a lot and–"

"I do not appreciate your presence in my cabin, Jason Grace. You should leave now. For your own well-being." I say in a cold, sharp and hard voice that seems foreign to him. But what he said felt like a brick to my face, wrapped up in sandpaper.

He looked like he wanted to protest but the look I gave him made it clear that this conversation was over.

He walked out reluctantly and I close the door and my hand passes through the wood. I yank my hand back and clutch it close towards my chest as if it may disappear. This was not good. This was happening more often now.

_Maybe Jason is right. Maybe I do need to confess to Percy and use my voice, or I'll be lost in the shadows. Forever._


	4. Author's note

**Author's note: Hey guys, I'm really sorry for what I'm about to say…**

***takes deep breath***

**This is gonna be Percico.**

***runs and hides from Solangelo shippers***

**I'm sorry guys I tried! I just can't bring myself to write Solangelo! I'm still a Percico shipper!**

**There. I said it.**

**I'm so sorry for the disappointed people.**

**Please don't kill me.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's note: Heya my non-existent readers! I updated again?! WHAAAAT? HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE? But here I am!**

**I'll try to update more often but school is so freaking hard! Anyway another chapter and I have some cool stuff planed out that I'm really excited about. This chapter is for my follower **_**theboringdolphin**_**, you can check that out because **_**theboringdolphin **_**writes PJo too. All Solangelo shippers: I'M SORRY! But my heart was just not in it. **

**So how do you guys want me to update: Regularly updated [Approximately every other day] chapters but shorter (+1,500) or longer chapters (+8,000) but longer time to update? Let me know.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

After I chucked Jason out I felt so alone. I feel alone all the time, but this time somehow – it was different.

It was as if reality had hit me hard and fast.

_Emily hates me. Emma hates me. Will hates me. Percy thinks I hate him. He probably hates me. The entire Camp hates me._

My achievements at the Giant War had rusted and crumbled. Word had gotten around about the Emma and Emily incident and if I dared to show my face at Camp, everyone would look away. Sometimes they'd run. Some would just look at me in pity, as if I were cursed.

Well they're right. My powers, my past, my heritage, it's all nothing but a curse.

I tried so hard to fit in at first. And sometimes it's all okay. But sometimes more often, it's not. So I cannot cherish what I have for all I know it wouldn't last. So I just can't be bothered anymore, you know? To hell with it all.

Friendship, trust and love are the luxuries I cannot afford.

It has been two days now, since I saw any living being. I've been happily camping in my cabin and debating, whether I wanted to leave or stay.

Not debating actually, more like_ deciding. _

And the answer came quite easily; I was going to leave both the camps forever.

Oh and I wouldn't bother telling anyone. Why would they care, really? They probably wouldn't even notice until another war came by. Then they'd all be at my door like: 'Hey Nico, I know I haven't seen or cared of you for a few years now but there's like this war coming up and we like really need your powers and stuff. No hard feelings, right?'

I don't know where I'd go, I mean I can always go to the Underworld but with all due respect; Persephone is a pain in the ass. So is Demeter. So (*cue more respect*) I'd rather be the most poor, homeless person in the world that stay within 50 mile radius of them.

But I'd find my way. Maybe I could get some skeletons to build me a nice house somewhere isolated. Maybe I would _find_ a nice house. Or I could always go to New Orleans, were my powers are at their peak.

I sat up groggily and clutch my head.

_Food first, leaving later._

I walk to the dining pavilion and it's empty as it was 4pm and lunch was over ages ago.

I grab a quick sandwich and rush to the infirmary for some extra ambrosia and nectar.

I bite my sandwich reluctantly and swallow. Before I reach the infirmary I realise that Will would be there and I didn't want to see him after our argument.

_Why are you so bothered about that 'argument', di Angelo?_

"Shut up," I mumble under my breath.

I peek into the infirmary slightly and see Will examining a bruise on some girl's leg. He wore a look of concentration. His eyes intense and brow knitted. His blond hair hung loosely which somehow managed to look endearing–

_Wait, what?_

_You're just hungry and tired. Nothing is endearing about Will. Well, unless the meaning of 'annoying' and 'pathetic' has changed in the last 75 years._

I just sighed inwardly and pulled the shadows towards me to give me some cover.

I walked quietly with soundless footsteps and made my way to the drawer in the – as the campers called it – Medic Room.

I slowly opened the drawer and grab an airtight bad filled with ambrosia and a canister of nectar. I quickly make my way back to my cabin before catching my gaze at Will for what it might be the last.

I rush in the cabin and pull out a bag from under my bed and stuff the nectar and ambrosia into it. I run to my closet and throw my around whatever I could find and run back and start shoving it all in the bag.

"Stupid…" I started mumbling between shoving pieces of clothing in "…Camp… Stupid… People… Never… Coming… Back… Stupid… Percy… Everybody… Stu–"

"Nico?" Someone said behind me and I froze.

You know those really cliché things that you read about and see in movies and stuff that you think are stupid and would never happen in reality? Well this was one of those. Only difference? It happened.

I slowly turned and tried to block all view of the half-open bag sprawled behind me.

Percy at the door with a look of disbelief on his face.

"Yes?" I managed.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

I moved forward quickly and leaned on the half open door hoping to block the view a bit more.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" I wore my same angry mask.

"Nico," he said again "What are you doing?"

"Why are you here?" I said, impatiently.

"Nico, stop avoiding the question," He looked irritable "You're hiding something, aren't you? You–"

He pushed past me and walked in my cabin. He looked at the bag on my bed and said, "Oh."

"Percy listen–" I began.

"No, no, don't explain yourself. I knew you'd leave some time now. You've been here far too long already."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"Nico," Percy turned to face me "Why can't you just stay here. At Camp."

He looked like a kicked puppy. It broke my heart all over again to see him like this. I wanted to make all his troubles go and hold him. Unfortunately, his problems included me.

"I tried Percy," I sighed in exasperation "I tried."

"You didn't try hard enough." He said.

"Percy," I push past him and walk towards my bag and start packing again "Only I know how hard I tried and let me tell you, I tried pretty dang hard."

"No." He said and grabbed my wrist sending chills down my spine. I freeze and forget to pull away. "You are not leaving. I'm going to help you."

That angered me. I snatch my wrist back and my lip curled into a snarl.

"Why does everyone act like I need help? Why do I seem so broken to everyone? Like I need to be fixed? Like I need to be healed? I can help myself, Percy and I am not broken or miserable. I'm fine! Great even, but it's you who makes that feeling go away!"

As soon as the words leave my lips I regret it. Percy looked at me with such guilt that it took all my self-control to not throw my arms around him.

He mumbled something and turned towards the door to leave.

"No, Percy listen," I ran towards him and threw myself between him and the door "I didn't mean it, I just–just…listen, I didn't–"

"It's okay Nico," he mumbled, his voice pained "You should hate me, after all I did. You have every right to hate me. But I thought I could change that but I guess not, and I'm sorry for that."

He tried to push past me but I closed the door behind me. The closeness made me uncomfortable but I couldn't back up or I might walk right through the wall and freak Percy out.

"I didn't mean it, I swear." I say again and let my mask of anger drop.

"Why do you hate me so much?" He said with such pained and heartbroken voice and looked at me directly in my eyes. It crushed me and I hid it.

"I don't hate you." I say to him for the second time and sigh "I just don't want to be at Camp."

"Why Nico? Why don't you want to be at Camp? You're more than welcome here and you know that we all love you and–"

"Love me? LOVE ME?" I yell again with rage "Percy, everyone at Camp hates me!"

"I don't hate you."

Silence.

"Nico, stay." He pleads.

"Percy, I–I can't."

"Of course you can." He pleaded again.

"Percy, I tried. Percy," I try not to break down "I really did. But then I hurt Emma and Emily. The little girl who made me smile. I'm not leaving for selfish reasons, I'm leaving for the Camp's sake."

Partially true because it did include selfish reasons; like a better chance at life but meh, who would want to hear about that?

"Nico…" He stepped forward placed a hand on my shoulder, I froze and pulled away to which he frowned "It's about Bianca, isn't it?"

"IT'S NOT FUCKING ABOUT BIANCA, PERCY!" I yell. I was so fed up about that. I really didn't blame Percy anymore.

"THEN WHAT IS IT ABOUT?" He yelled and stepped forward.

"It-It-It's about–" I stutter and step back with every step Percy takes.

"TELL ME NICO!" He yelled and stepped forward again "TELL ME WHAT IT IS ABOUT?"

"It–" I lung toward my bag, call the shadows toward me and do what I do best.

Run away.


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's note: Hullo there non-existent readers! I'm so glad all of you understood the Percico and Solangelo change. Another chapter for you guys! I don't know what you'll think of the time wrap but I felt it was necessary for my story. Sorry if it's a bit sloppy but I have better stuff planned out so look forward to that. **

**Chapter could be a little heart breaking. Little. Right. *insert evil laughter*. And to all the people telling me to spell properly and use proper grammar: I know how to fucking spell okay. Sometimes I just type too fast and shit gets messed up. Don't blame my brain and grammar, blame fingers and keyboard… I guess.**

**Don't forget my other story, if I get enough attention on that, I'll update. Yes it is HoO. No, not as angst-y, more humorous. Go check it out now!**

**Anyway, enjoy! [I swear everyone refers to me as the writer with really big A/Ns]**

_2 years later_

I wake up clutching my throbbing my head. I groan and sit up.

I turn to the nightstand and read the time. _2:00AM. _Hm, how odd.

It has been quite a while since I had run away from Camp. Two years, four months and 6 days, precisely.

Well… one can get bored in isolation.

Staying away from Camp – I kid you not – was pretty difficult for me to do. I kept wanting to check how Percy was doing. But I knew that leaving was necessary.

A part of me believed it was for the good and the other part of me believed that Percy would find me and tell me that there was a home waiting for me. Camp Half-Blood.

But he never came.

I waited for him. I guess it defeats the purpose of running away but I thought that Percy did actually care for me. At least a little bit.

I guess I was wrong then.

After I ran away I found out many old abandoned places. I would summon the to-be-dead owner and he would clean up the place just fine for me.

Well, I didn't stay at one place for a long time. I kept moving. Running. I'd run in an occasional monster but they didn't bother me much.

I was alone and I preferred it that way. I didn't necessarily like it, though.

I wonder when the demigods would come searching for me to fight another war.

I was currently staying at this underground house built in the 1800s. It's old and has stone walls and velvet carpets. A door opened to a dark staircase leading down to the entire structure. I liked it. Unfortunately, I'd have to leave it in some time.

It was owned by a couple who had died horribly in war aftermaths.

I was used to the general dull ache in my head but today was different. It was as if a bomb had exploded in my head and was making my ears ring.

I groan again and get out of the comfortable black duvet.

I slowly walk towards the kitchen and down a carton of milk. I open a cabinet and take a small piece of ambrosia and chew it.

I wait for the ache to go.

…..Nothing.

Why isn't it going?

Could it be that–?

No way it's possible that–

My train of thought gets interrupted by a loud crashing sound coming from aboveground.

I ignored the ache and run out. What I see is probably the most bizarre thing I'd ever seen – and that's saying something.

First of all, Percy is standing awkwardly in front of the attic-like entrance of my underground lair, looking a little heartbroken for some reason.

Secondly, my two skeletons (the owners of the place) who were supposed to keep guard and notify me of anyone's presence – especially Percy's, were staring at Percy with their bony hands clasped under their chin, as if Percy was the most beautiful thing ever.

_Well they aren't wrong…_

"Percy?" I stare "What are you doing here?"

"Umm…." His deep voice sounded hoarse.

"And Christine" I look at the skeleton of the women "What are you doing?"

She dissolves into smoke "James? You too?" The words leave my lips and he follows Christine's example.

"Hey Nico." Percy says again in a hoarse voice again. It pains me to hear him like that.

"Percy what are you–?" I sigh. People only come for my help for two reasons: _There's a war! Nico haaaalp! _Or _Nico I need your Underworld-y powers!_

Then it dawns to me.

The ringing in my ears.

Percy's pained expression.

It can only be–

Annabeth.

A little check on my powers and – yep, Annabeth Chase, hero of Olympus, architectural genius, girlfriend of Percy Jackson, is very much dead.

Which means Percy is here for only one thing.

"Percy I can't help you." I snap and regret it. _Nico di Angelo, the boy just lost the love of his life!_

"Please Nico." He pleaded with a heartbroken expression and vivid pain in his voice.

"Nico," he said "I know it will be difficult–"

"Impossible." I corrected.

"Nico–"

"_No Percy."_ I say firmly.

"It is possible!" he cried. "Nico you don't understand– Annabeth– she-she's my life and I cannot live without her. I can't–"

He broke down crying. His knees finally gave up and he collapsed. He hid his face in his hands and cried. Sobs racking his body.

I stood there awkwardly, unsure what to do.

"I know it's hard, Percy," I said "But you need to accept her death. You need to let her _stay dead."_

"She died because of an accident at Camp," he whispered as silent tears streamed down his face "She-she was helping the Hephaestus campers at a-a project, an architectural project and there was this insignificant wall that wasn't stable and she didn't know…" he paused, crying harder, "I can't even avenge her. I can't be angry at anyone. I just–"

He started mourning and sobbing. I didn't know what to do. In case no one noticed, I'm not exactly the touchy and make-you-feel-better type.

"Percy, listen." I said "I cannot do anything. When Bianca died I felt the same. I tried to get her back but I realised that the dead had to stay dead. Her spirit was at peace and so is Annabeth's. She's in Elysium, Percy. Her soul is at peace. Now let her be."

"Nico," Percy looked up at me. His sea-green eyes looked black in the night. They were hallow and empty, the sparkle gone. "I-I heard there was a deal… I don't know what… but we have to try."

"Percy, you don't realise the stakes." I reasoned "A life for a life. A soul for a soul. A soul that cheated death."

He didn't say anything. He just looked at me expectantly.

Then I realised.

_Percy is telling me to….sacrifice_– _No. Percy can't do that, he's sweet and kind and understanding and loyal and he-he_–

But that was exactly what Percy was telling me.

Disgust flooded into me and I let it show on my face. And I wanted Percy to see it. I wanted him to see that he'd gone too far this time.

I loathed at what Percy was telling me to do. I sacrificed so much for him and I'd do anything for him despite the hatred I portrayed. And he knew that. He knew that and he misused that.

I didn't say anything I just turned and ran. I didn't shadow travel – I just ran. Tears streamed down my face.

"Nico, wait!" I heard footsteps behind me "I didn't mean– Nico, listen! Nico I didn't– Shit! Nico I didn't–"

I stop abruptly and turn around to face him. Hatred, disgust and most of all – rage vivid in my posture and features.

"DIDN'T MEAN WHAT, PERCY?" I yell, not caring of the tears that he could see "YOU JUST SOLEMNLY ASKED ME TO KILL MYSELF!"

Percy whimpered and stepped back.

"PERCY JACKSON, DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF?" I yell louder "YOU ASKED ME TO KILL MYSELF! THE HERO OF OLYMPUS, PERCY JACKSON – YOU, ASKED ME TO KILL MYSELF!"

"Nico…" He tried for something but sighed in defeat.

"You knew that I'd do anything for you." I said even though I knew I'd regret it later "But I never thought in a life time that you would take advantage of that. That you would– Percy, I thought you cared for me! I really did. I knew I was wrong but I let myself believe that because of your sweet deceiving words. Your lies. Percy… how could you?"

"Nico, I do care of you…" he said softly "I don't know what came over me. I just wanted Annabeth back so badly– Look, I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Jackson!" I yell and wipe some tears only for them to be replaced with fresh ones.

"Nico… I do care about you." He stepped forward.

"You cared about me? _You cared about me?! _Percy if you cared about me, you wouldn't have found me two years later! The first few months I didn't even try hard to hide, if you wanted, you could've found me! But no! You were busy with your perfect life and you didn't give me a second thought! So don't lie to me again."

"I did go out searching for you!" He yelled in his defence "I searched for five months! I didn't find you… Annabeth told me you'd be okay. I did search for you with all my heart!"

"Then why is it that you found me when you needed me for my powers?! For Annabeth?! Percy, don't bullshit me. I've had enough of it."

He looked taken aback. He looked like he wanted to protest but I'd had him there.

"Yeah I thought so." I growled.

I turned and started walking back towards my little lair.

"Wait, so you're just gonna leave me here!?" Percy called out as he jogged behind me.

"Yep." I say flatly.

"It's like 3AM and it's so cold. You're just gonna leave me in the cold?"

"Pretty much."

I reached the pine door that led downstairs to my lair. I turned to face Percy and willed five skeletons to appear.

"All ears to me, men. Percy Jackson right here is very troublesome," I growl, my glare not leaving Percy's eyes "Keep him out and see he doesn't disturb me. Do not hesitate to harm. Don't kill him, though."

I smile evilly and look at him.

"I'd like to do that myself." I walk into the lair and tasted salt on my lips.


End file.
